Ouch! That hurts!

docDown here in Florida, commonly referred to as the Metamucil capital of the world, there is an abundance of new housing developments, shopping centers, senior citizens and, of course, doctors. There are so many doctors here that I sometimes feel that the previous generation planted ‘doctor seeds’ here and now they have borne fruit. There are cardiologists, gastroenterologists, urologists, pulmonologists, endocrinologists, and some doctors who even specialize in something called ‘pain management’. Now while some of those other doctors who I mentioned might give you a prescription for medication that might remove your ailment, or at least keep it under control until the prescription has to be refilled, the pain management doctor is a member of the Apache Indian tribe, who graduated from Chickasaw University in Arizona and is a full-fledged Medicine Man. He will treat your pain by inserting a needle into your bone structure that will make your original pain seem like a small mosquito bite. He will then tell you that the medication that he injected you with should ease the pain for about 2-3 weeks, during which time that pain can be reduced, not removed, by taking some Tylenol.

Okay, so now you figure that, if the pain comes back, you can come back for another shot of that chicken soup that he gave you in another 2 or 3 weeks. Oh no, my gullible one. He is not allowed to give you another shot of that stuff for 6 more months. By that time, the swelling in the bone where he gave you your original shot has sufficiently healed itself enough for you to endure another painful shot in that same bone. Till then, he suggests that, when you buy that Tylenol, buy the extra large sized bottle. Even the graduation diploma that he has on the wall in his office, has a picture of Cochise (or maybe it is Sitting Bull), the Dean of the college that he graduated from. In either case, he shouldn’t be advertised as a ‘Pain Management’ doctor. He should be advertised as a ‘Pain Continuation’ doctor.

By the way, when some of those other doctors who I mentioned previously, write out a prescription, the writing is in Latin. Did you ever wonder what that prescription really says to the pharmacist? It really says, “I got mine, now you get yours.”

Hang in there, my friends, hang in there.


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