Did You Hear The Latest?

happy-old-coupleBeing in an Independent Living Facility in Florida has enabled me to meet people of all ages and from all parts of the country and the world. It has also enabled me to hear conversations that would rival those of many stand-up comedians these days. For example:

SARAH: “How old are you, Marie?”

MARIE: “I don’t know. It changes every year.”

Or, I overheard two women talking in the elevator one day and the conversation went like this:

ELIZABETH: “I understand that you’re on a diet, Mary. So how are you doing?”

MARY: “I’ve been on a diet for 3 weeks. So far I’ve lost 21 DAYS. I’m trying to get down to my original weight – 6lbs. 8oz. (stop laughing!)

I was sitting at the table in the dining room one day, having lunch with a man who came from New York and who used to live not far from where I used to live. We had a nice conversation and he confided in me that he liked one of the other women there. He told me that he had asked her to move in with him so that they could save the cost of one of the apartments. She had told him that she wouldn’t mind but that he would have to promise her that there would be no sex involved, as she didn’t want to become pregnant, (she is 86 years old, by the way). He told me that he said to her, “Don’t worry. I’ll go to Publix and buy a condominium.” I did a double take until I realized what he meant.

Of course, here in Florida, people wear their ages as though it was a badge of honor. The older one is, the more he or she gets the “Ooh, really?” treatment. When the discussion involves politics, it isn’t rare to hear someone say:

“Presidents today are not what they used to be. I still remember when Calvin Coolidge was running. Now, there was a President, not like today.”

By the way, did you know that Abraham Lincoln was Jewish? Oh, yes! He got shot in the temple. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist that)

Around here, they say that age is only a number and when your number is called, it’s called. You just have to hope that your number is 91 and they’ve just called number 27 and they are calling the numbers verrry… slowly…


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