I Give Up!

question-marks-9When men get together at the senior care facilities here in Florida, the conversation generally turns to politics, sports or dirty jokes. Not everyone can tell a joke well and so those who can’t tell one or just don’t remember any, might resort to telling a riddle or two. Since none of us have any writers and we’ve been out of circulation for awhile, the riddles have probably been around the internet for awhile and you may have heard them before. Continue reading

Memories are Made of This

Since the census figures reveal that females will outlive males, it is quite obvious that there are many more female residents here than there are males. Therefore, many of the activities that are planned here are geared to the female population, i.e.: Bingo, Canasta, Mah-Jongg, Skip-Bo (a card game), knitting courses, dance instruction, etc. The men here seem content in playing Checkers, a rare poker game (the stakes at a 5 and 10 cent game are much too high for some of these old fogeys), or just a simple schmooze session about sports or how we can solve the world’s political situation.George Herman Continue reading

What’s Up Doc?

gpIf you can’t get rich being a doctor down here in Florida, then you wasted all those years going to college to become one. Getting a degree to become a doctor in Florida is like winning the lottery. New construction sites go up on an almost daily basis here and they are usually for 1) new housing developments, 2) shopping centers and 3) doctor’s offices. Around the middle of September, when the weather up north starts to get a bit chilly and elderly people start to wear Long Johns and Snuggies, the Metamucil migration begins. Doctors start to advertise for more nurses to cover their practice, like vultures during a feeding frenzy. Yet, it is very rare that you can get an appointment with any doctor before a week or two, unless you are willing to see his Physician’s Assistant. Continue reading

And the Meek Shall Inherit the Earth

love-chocolateIn my last post, I described some of the insanity that takes place when the game of Bingo is played here. I also promised to tell you about something called ‘Chocolate Bingo’, so here goes. Chocolate Bingo is played exactly the same way that regular Bingo games are played. The only difference is that instead of some money going to the winner, he or she gets to choose from an assortment of chocolate candies as a reward. Some people have been complaining that the game is fixed because the overweight women are winning most of the time and they think that the caller might be in collusion with them. They think there is a cover up. Personally, I think that they have been watching too much Fox News these days. Continue reading

You Gotta Be In It To Win It

bingo-elderly-2Here in Florida, where there are more senior care facilities than there are hairs on your head, they all compete for your business once you reach retirement age. The way they do that is by telling you of the various amenities that their facility provides. Those facilities may include a swimming pool, (a MUST in this climate), either two or three meals a day, weekly housekeeping privileges, nightly entertainment, on site medical assistance, daily shuttle service into town and various daily activities. Those daily activities usually include games that do not require much physical activity, (remember we are talking elderly people here), such as Bean Bag baseball, Indoor Bocci Ball, Outdoor Horseshoe Pitching, (except during the hot summer months, when just holding a metal horseshoe might give you third degree burns), Board games like Checkers or Chess and any number of card games. The number one activity, of course, is Bingo which is scheduled on the nights when they don’t have an entertainer performing – usually 3 nights a week. The higher priced senior facilities can afford to bring in well known entertainers, while the less expensive facilities provide some local performers who are willing to play some music or sing a few songs for a smaller fee. Continue reading

A Word to the Wise

Generic 1960s pic of a father and son scene.Since the Good Lord has been kind enough to grant me long life, I feel it is my obligation to pass on to certain members of my family some of the wisdom that I have accumulated over the years. While my children (and my grandchildren) may know more about computers or how to program my VCR, I feel that I can still offer some worthwhile suggestions and advice on how they may avoid some of the pitfalls in life that may come their way in the future. Continue reading